A little Q&A with a ‘doctor’

Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: The Heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… Don’t waste it on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up the heart does not make you live longer; it’s like saying you extend the life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine is made from fruit. Fruit is very good for you. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain is good for you too; Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: I can’t think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain…good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU ARE NOT LISTENING! Food’s are fried in vegetable oil. How can getting more vegetable be bad for you?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscles, they get bigger. You should only do sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for the figure, explain a whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is shape; isn’t it!

Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

The cardiologist was waiting to see service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”

The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working . The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new.

So how is that I make £20,000 a year and you make £320,000 a year when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic…..

“Try doing it with the engine running.”

xxx “

So would you buy a ‘cold calling service’ from this company? A clue…we’ve deleted the email already!

An interesting debate. Here is my take on it.

Historically the high street has been both the browsing and buying destination. Brands relied on the ‘sum of the parts’ argument i.e., they could not afford to develop their own chain of outlets so relied on the pooling of high street retail space, sharing the cost with their competitors.

With the advent of the Internet, this relationship has been fundamentally changed. For a short period the brands thought they had utopia…retailers bearing the cost of displaying their goods with the brands making greater profits by selling on line.

Clearly this business model was destined to fail and, with no surprise, the high street retailers are falling like dominoes.

So to the future. We think you will see more brands setting up their own stores (like Apple and Sony) as this will be the only way for consumers to interact with their products. So those excess profits that the brands have gained, short term, will be swallowed up by the increased costs of having retail space on the high street.

Don’t you just love the way free markets work

Clearly for new brands, the lack of retail chains to display their goods will be a problem for them; so we can see a generation of boutique type retail chains opening giving these smaller brands the opportunity to share costs with their competitors to get their products displayed and sold. They will then start selling on line and we go round the loop again.

A case in question.

At the time of writing (January 2013) we are looking to recruit a junior web programmer/designer. The UK Government are currently offering a wage incentive to SME employers; basically if you take someone from the ages 16-24, the Government will pay up to £2275 if they are still employed with you after 6 months (http://www.dwp.gov.uk/youth-contract/key-initiatives/wage-incentives/).

We think this is a great scheme which encourages SMEs to take on young people who are looking for their first job opportunity.

But then you get into the execution. If you go to the website, there is a number to call, an option to choose (2) which takes you through to a person who then tells you to go to (wait for it!) http://www.dwp.gov.uk/youth-contract/key-initiatives/wage-incentives/

So you type in “advertise a job on jobcentreplus” into Google, thinking that there will be a link for you to post the job on…and you get a plethora of everything other than what you are looking for!

Finally we typed in “contact jobcentreplus sheffield” and got throught to a very nice person who said “Oooh I’m only a small cog in large wheel, I’ll get someone to call you back straight away”

…still waiting!

The meeting was lively and it was pleasing to see John was taking copious notes. The key messages that we communicated were:

1. SME businesses like the fact that Government is encouraging collaboration between Universities and SMEs
2. The challenge is getting Universities to work at the pace of the private sector; decisions take too long to make and nobody seems to want to take accountability for decision making
3. The TSB is becoming much more ‘bottom up’ in terms of what types of projects they will support; and we hope this continues…markets are much better at deciding what is best, not politicians!

John came across as a very sincere civil servant who really does want to get to grips with the challenges faced in supporting UK PLC. If the volume of notes he took turns into action, we should all be very encouraged.

But, as is always with the public sector, time scales are a magnitude different to those of us in the private sector.

One grant is to look at a new way of supporting Innovators by creating a crowd sourcing platform, specifically focused on products; the concept being ‘buy before you try in 100% confidence and safety’. Watch this space for how this develops.

The second is to investigate the possibility of developing the worlds first full colour silicon 3D Printer. This will fundamentally transform the world of prosthetics, but more significantly create a whole new market for the supply of custom cases to devices such as the iPhone and iPad.

A lot to do in a short period of time…but that is the nature of our business anyway!

Our entry is for the method we have developed to rapid manufacture a soft tissue prosthesis on ZCorp 3D Printers. The method developed has always been intended for the developing world who cannot afford the services of a highly skilled anaplastologist.

If we are successful in winning the $100K, we plan to open centres in the developing world teaching the local population how to manufacture prostheses for themselves. The background to the project can be seen on our website.

There will be an opportunity to vote for our entry soon so please spread the word.

From: Erin Stevens [eostevens@gmail.com]
Sent: 22 June 2012 22:27
To: Erin Stevens
Subject: The WORTHWHILE MILE — Generating awareness about Facial
Prosthetics

Dear Friends & Family,

I hope this letter finds you all doing well. Before its length deters you from reading further, I’ll tell you upfront that I am writing to personally ask for your help.

As most of you know, I have spent the past seven years pursuing a career in Anaplastology, a field of which many have never heard. Our work combines science, art, and technology in order to create facial or somatic (body) prostheses for patients who have suffered severe disfigurement due to cancer, trauma, or congenital origin. Prosthetic treatment provides an alternative when surgical reconstruction is unachievable or undesired, and most importantly, it offers the possibility of some functional and psychological rehabilitation that is vital to a patient’s well-being. In plain language, our patients are missing or have lost an eye, ear, nose, or portion of the face, hands or feet, and for a variety of reasons, the most favorable option is to replace it with an artificial, life-like prosthesis.

I have had the privilege of working with some of the strongest patients, listening to their stories, and learning about their individual journeys which have led them to our clinic. If you would give me just a moment more of your time, I’d like to share with you about a project that was born out of my passion for this field–THE WORTHWHILE MILE

The Worthwhile Mile is both an awareness campaign and a fundraising campaign. In short, I aim to raise 1000 individual donations to match my personal pledge to cycle 1000 miles via organized rides throughout the summer of 2012. Each donation will go directly to the Walter Spohn Education Fund (WSEF), established to support education and research in the field of Anaplastology.

My motivation in seeking 1000 individual donations is to increase awareness about facial prosthetic rehabilitation. With our success in disguising disfigurement, our profession has remained somewhat hidden to the world as well. Many people simply don't a have a clear understanding of what this type of treatment involves. Unfortunately, this lack of awareness also exists among a considerable proportion of health care professionals. As a result, many patients are not informed about prosthetic rehabilitation as a potential avenue for treatment, and subsequently, those who may benefit from this type of care are often not referred to an anaplastologist. Can you imagine losing your eye to cancer, being a burn victim or a child born with no ear, and going years before learning that you could have received care had you only been told about it?

You can help! Our professional association has fewer than 200 members worldwide--we are a small group of talented specialists and we need your help in educating the world about the resources that exist for patients. Your support will benefit not only our patients, but also the growth of our field. Funders cannot support the advancement of a field if they have no knowledge of it. It is my hope that The Worthwhile Mile will bring attention to this important clinical practice, while also generating support for its growth through research and education.

I am sharing this mission of mine with you to ask, with utmost sincerity, that you would help me to achieve this task. As I bike throughout the Midwest this summer, I will be reaching out to inspire anyone who will listen and contribute to this cause, but I am also counting on the support of those near and dear to me to help this project meet its goal.

Please consider a donation of any size. And even more importantly, please share this mission with your own friends and family.

A flyer is also attached with this letter. Please don't hesitate to start spreading the word!

I cannot thank you enough for your time and attention. Please feel free to reach me if you have any questions, or you simply wish to catch up. Explore worthwhilemile.com

Thank you all in advance for your support!

Erin Stevens

DONATE online at: www.worthwhilemile.com

We have had a good year (not quite our best but still good) but, more importantly, our pipeline of future work is fuller now than it has ever been (of which a lot are clients coming back to us for more design work i.e. they are starting to spend again).

Sheffield Chamber says they have had a record number of applications for export licences in Q1 this year too.

Many of the businesses we work for and companies that supply us are all telling us that they have been really busy in Q1 as well.

Traffic in and out of Sheffield, at peak times, continues to be as busy as ever.

So where is the recession actually taking place?

We are not saying that our economy is booming, but it certainly does not feel like a recession from our perspective?

Our advice is ignore the politicians, and their political pundits, and lets all concentrate on what we do best; developing innovative products and services that customers want to buy.